Thursday, May 28, 2015

6 Tell-Tail Signs That You are in a Parenting Fail

The following may be signs that you are in the midst of a parenting fail:

1. You have no idea where your child is. You fear she has been stolen by an unsavoury individual with even more unsavoury intentions. She is hiding in the closet just to piss you off. This all happens about 2 minutes before the school bell is set to ring

2. Your child attempts to bite, scratch and kick you.

3. In your attempt to physically drag your child into the school building where you plan to abandon all knowledge of this child and her emotional distress, your other child clings to your legs until she falls over and starts to cry.

4. Your morning ends with an irate email to the recycling authority explaining to them to stop being such assholes by expecting recycling to be at the curb by an ungodly hour -  before any human being should reasonably be expected to accomplish anything people!!

5. You plan to do better tomorrow.

6. You crave a donut. Badly. Or better yet, a cronut.

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