It is impossible to control all variables when it comes to parenting. For women who have achieved previous success by planning ahead and pushing themselves hard, this chaos can be difficult to accept.*
Yes.
I read this and I am relieved as I realize IT ISN'T ME.
I wonder, though, in those chaotic moments when I hear the words, "Mama, I peed on the floor" when I find myself chasing my 6 year-old-down in the front yard, my pyjama choices on display for all the neighbours and passing randos to witness, when the local auto-service station comes to my home to deal with the latest vehicle crisis for the second time in as many months, (key locked in the car anyone? dead battery because your child turn in the interior light on when you weren't looking? these mean different things when you're single AND have kids) when every week seems to bring another physical ailment (take your pick from an assortment of infections, flus, muscle and nerve pain). No wonder my physiotherapist explained that my nervous system needs to calm the fuck down.
I love my girls and I love my life, but Chaos lives here too and sometimes he can be pretty rude. And a little hard to take for this incessant perfectionist.
I started writing this while my girls were eating pizza off the same unwashed plates they ate their breakfast toast off because a busy week preparing for a job interview (that I bombed big time) meant no clean dishes by week's end. But next time I am woken up by the sound of my children committing sororicide** over the last yogurt cup, I will just accept that Chaos will always be part of this package.
*From Sheryl Sandberg's book "Lean in: Women, Work and the Will to Lead". Essential reading for all women and anyone who knows one.
**The act of killing one's sister.
No comments:
Post a Comment